Bekale was a husband who had learned to think about himself before anyone else. Whenever there was food in the house, he considered his own portion first. Whenever there was something useful to be shared, he looked for the part that would benefit him most. His wife knew his nature well, but she continued to live with him, hoping that time and experience would eventually teach him to become more considerate.
Bekale, however, saw no reason to change.
He believed that a man who worked hard had every right to enjoy what belonged to him. He did not think deeply about the people around him or the ways his decisions affected them. If he had enough for himself, he considered the matter settled. If someone else went without, Bekale rarely allowed their difficulty to trouble him.
His selfishness did not appear in one great act. It showed itself in the small decisions he made every day.
When his wife prepared food, Bekale expected the best portion. If meat was available, he wanted the largest piece. If there was something special in the household, he wanted to be the first to enjoy it. His wife often had to accept whatever remained after he had satisfied himself.
She sometimes reminded him that a household was built on cooperation.
A husband and wife, she told him, should consider each other. They should share what they had and make decisions together.
Fascinated by this tale? Discover more North African folktales
Bekale listened, but he did not take her words seriously.
He thought generosity was unnecessary when a person could keep what belonged to him. To him, sharing was something people did when they had no choice. He did not understand that consideration was one of the things that kept a marriage strong.
As time passed, his wife became increasingly unhappy.
She did not complain about every little thing. Instead, she watched Bekale and noticed that his selfishness was becoming part of everything he did. He did not simply want enough. He wanted more than enough, even when getting more meant leaving less for somebody else.
The more comfortable Bekale became with his behaviour, the less he noticed its effect.
He expected his wife to cook, clean and care for the household, yet he did not show the same willingness to consider her needs. When something benefited him, he accepted it without hesitation. When his wife needed something from him, he often found a reason to refuse.
Bekale believed that because he was the husband, he deserved special treatment.
He did not see marriage as a partnership.
He saw it as an arrangement in which his needs should come first.
But selfishness has a way of creating loneliness around the person who practises it.
People may tolerate selfish behaviour for a while, especially when they hope that the person will change. However, patience can eventually become exhaustion. The person who continually takes without giving may one day discover that the people around him no longer want to make sacrifices for him.
Bekale did not understand this.
He continued behaving as though his wife would always remain patient.
Whenever she tried to make him understand that his behaviour was hurting their relationship, he dismissed her concerns. He saw her complaints as unnecessary rather than as warnings that something was going wrong.
His attitude only made the situation worse.
A marriage cannot thrive when one person continually thinks about what he can receive while ignoring what the other person needs.
Bekale’s wife eventually began to respond differently. She became less willing to accept his behaviour silently. Instead of constantly adjusting herself to his selfishness, she began to recognize that his actions had consequences.
Bekale noticed the change, but instead of examining his own behaviour, he became annoyed.
He wondered why things were no longer as convenient as they had once been.
That question revealed something important about him. Bekale was not troubled because he suddenly understood that he had treated his wife unfairly. He was troubled because the comfort he had taken for granted was beginning to disappear.
For a selfish person, losing an advantage can sometimes be the first moment that forces him to notice the people he has been ignoring.
Bekale’s actions eventually brought him into a situation where he could no longer expect everything to go his way. The treatment he had repeatedly given to others returned to him through the consequences of his own choices.
What he had taken without consideration could no longer be taken so easily.
What he had refused to give could no longer be expected from others.
And the person who had always assumed that he would be cared for discovered that selfishness does not guarantee security.
The consequences were painful because Bekale had created them himself.
Nobody needed to invent a punishment for him. His own behaviour had already prepared the way for it.
That is what makes the story of Bekale particularly striking. His punishment was not simply about one mistake. It came from a pattern of behaviour. Each selfish decision strengthened the habit until the consequences became unavoidable.
Bekale had treated consideration as weakness.
He had treated generosity as unnecessary.
He had treated marriage as an opportunity to receive rather than a relationship requiring mutual care.
Eventually, he was forced to confront the result.
A person cannot continually take from others and expect their goodwill to remain unlimited.
A husband cannot continually ignore his wife’s needs and expect the marriage to remain peaceful.
A person who values only his own comfort may eventually discover that comfort disappears when trust and affection are lost.
The experience changed the way Bekale looked at his circumstances.
For perhaps the first time, he began to understand what his wife had been trying to tell him. The things he had considered small were not small to the person who experienced them repeatedly.
A single selfish decision may seem insignificant. But many selfish decisions can become a way of life.
And once selfishness becomes a habit, it can damage even the closest relationship.
Bekale had believed that his actions affected only himself. He was wrong.
Every time he took more than his share, someone else received less.
Every time he ignored his wife’s needs, he weakened their relationship.
Every time he placed himself first, he taught the people around him that their needs did not matter to him.
His punishment therefore became a lesson in justice.
Justice does not always arrive in the form of an official judgment or a dramatic sentence. Sometimes it appears through the natural consequences of a person’s own behaviour.
When people stop trusting someone, that is a consequence.
When generosity is no longer offered to someone who never gives, that is a consequence.
When affection disappears from a relationship because one person continually takes advantage of the other, that too is a consequence.
Bekale eventually learned that a person’s treatment of others can determine how others respond to him.
The lesson was not that people should refuse to forgive mistakes. Rather, it was that forgiveness cannot be used as permission to continue doing wrong.
A marriage requires more than living under the same roof. It requires patience, cooperation, respect and consideration.
One person cannot continually take while expecting the other to give.
One person cannot demand understanding without being willing to understand.
One person cannot insist on receiving kindness while refusing to show kindness.
Bekale’s experience exposed the weakness hidden inside selfishness.
The selfish person may think he is protecting himself by keeping everything for himself. In reality, he may be destroying the relationships that would have supported him when he needed help.
Generosity, on the other hand, creates bonds.
When people share, they build trust.
When spouses consider each other’s needs, they strengthen their marriage.
When people recognize that their actions affect others, they become more responsible.
Bekale had ignored these truths until his own behaviour brought them directly before him.
His story therefore became a warning for anyone who believes that taking care of oneself means ignoring everyone else.
There is nothing wrong with caring for one’s own needs. The problem begins when self interest becomes so strong that it leaves no room for consideration, fairness or generosity.
Bekale had crossed that line.
He wanted his comfort even when someone else suffered.
He wanted the best for himself even when another person deserved consideration.
He wanted the benefits of marriage without accepting the responsibilities that came with it.
Eventually, his selfishness cost him the very peace he had been trying to protect.
The lesson was simple but difficult to ignore.
People remember how they are treated.
A person who continually gives others reasons to feel neglected should not be surprised when those people eventually stop making sacrifices for him.
Bekale’s punishment showed him that relationships are not maintained by taking. They survive through mutual care.
His story also reminds us that justice can be found in consequences. A selfish person may escape criticism for a time, but selfish behaviour often carries its own punishment. It can produce resentment, destroy trust and leave the selfish person isolated.
Bekale learned this through experience.
The man who had always placed himself first eventually discovered that there are things no person can keep for himself: trust once broken, affection once lost and opportunities once destroyed by careless behaviour.
His story remains a warning because selfishness rarely announces its final consequences at the beginning. It starts with small choices. A person takes a little more. Gives a little less. Listens a little less. Considers himself a little more important.
Then those small choices become habits.
And those habits eventually shape relationships.
Bekale’s greatest mistake was not simply wanting good things for himself. His mistake was believing that his own happiness mattered more than the wellbeing of the person who shared his life.
Through the consequences that followed, he learned that marriage requires two people who are willing to give as well as receive.
A home becomes stronger when its members consider one another.
A relationship becomes healthier when both people are willing to make sacrifices.
And a person becomes truly respected not because he takes the largest share, but because he knows when to share what he has.
Bekale’s story therefore leaves behind a lasting warning: selfishness may appear to benefit a person in the short term, but it can eventually cost him the love, trust and companionship that matter far more.
Keep reading: Discover more Central African folktales
Moral Lesson
Selfishness can destroy relationships and eventually bring consequences upon the selfish person. Marriage requires generosity, fairness, respect and consideration for one another. What we repeatedly do to others can eventually shape how they respond to us.
Knowledge Check
1. Who is the central character in the story?
Answer: The central character is Bekale, a selfish husband.
2. How did Bekale treat his wife?
Answer: He repeatedly placed his own needs and comfort above his wife’s needs.
3. What was one major problem with Bekale’s attitude toward marriage?
Answer: He treated marriage as a way to receive rather than as a partnership requiring mutual care and responsibility.
4. What eventually happened because of Bekale’s selfish behaviour?
Answer: His selfishness brought consequences that made him experience the effects of his own behaviour.
5. What does the story teach about generosity?
Answer: It teaches that generosity and consideration help build trust and strengthen relationships.
6. What is the main warning in the story?
Answer: The story warns that continual selfishness can destroy relationships and eventually bring painful consequences.
Source
Adapted from Henri Trilles, Contes et légendes fang du Gabon (1905), “Bekale, le mari égoïste puni,” p. 242.
